I'm learning ALOT about myself, my family, and who God desires me to be, and then going beyond that. It's such a humbling process, and while I feel I have been a decently self-aware person, I've done little to nothing to develop who I am. I've used excuse after excuse about how I was raised, but when do we move past that?
NOW! So my next confession is that I have been such a judgmental person, in particular towards missionaries. I used to think that a good missionary woman was like GI Jane...strong, tough, could handle living in a little hut with dirt floors, no electricity, and still be very present with the local people, serving them with all of her time and efforts. Then, at the end of the day, spend all of her energy studying her Bible and doing other spiritual things.
Never did I imagine myself living in a house with more than one bedroom, electricity working more often than not, having someone help me in the house (I'll save that story for later), and having decent internet. In fact, I judged missionaries in the past for such things, thinking that they are living such a "comfortable" life and showing off all of their wealth.
Oh, how I'm learning...and I apologize for this attitude, especially to all of my missionary friends. I've wrestled with guilt for some time now and have discovered through life experiences and wisdom from some east african friends that it's not about what we HAVE, but more about the condition of our HEARTS and how we use it all to love our neighbors. In the words of a wise Kenyan friend we invited over a few weeks ago: "You could have a very simple, small house and not love and bless others, staying to yourself, or you could have a bigger house and be warm and caring for others. It's about your heart - people will see that."
The fact is, I could do everything myself here, from scratch, and rough it completely. I did it in Papua New Guinea for a year. But does that really make me a good missionary? Not really. I was often so exhausted from life, cross-cultural differences, and many other things that I had little energy to invest in others. But as a mom who has lots to do now, I really appreciate having a home with a few modern amenities that allow me to invest my efforts into more important, more transformational purposes for others.
I don't know where you are at in your opinions, but please avoid what I have done and take the time to put yourself in other's shoes and remember all of the things they have left behind in order to invest their time, love, and energy into seeing others uplifted and empowered! Most of all, give them grace, because missionary women are no more perfect and are on the same learning journey that we all are on.
“Do not judge, or you too will be
judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with
the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
“Why do you look at the speck of
sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own
eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your
eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first
take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the
speck from your brother’s eye.
~Matthew 7:1-5
No comments:
Post a Comment