It's the final Countdown!

It’s crazy how time just passes by so quickly.  I’m already at the point where I could go into labor any day now…38 weeks!  CRAZY!!!  So much has happened since we arrived in California, and I’ve been meaning to share my experiences so you can get a glimpse into this wild ride of ours!  This isn’t a blog completely about my pregnancy, but let’s be honest…that is the main focus of our family’s world these days so it’s mostly just about that!

We hit the ground running trying to find a natural birth location for me to deliver Gracie at.  We have a wonderful friend who is my doula and did research for me while I had limited Internet in TZ.  My prenatal care in Tanzania was so minimal that I didn’t have any testing/screenings done there and have no records to show any doctors here. 

So with straightening out my insurance and finding a place the first week, I thought I had things all settled and was on my way, but days turned into weeks with delays from the birthing center I had chosen and they weren’t getting back to me.  They kept delaying my first visit until 1 month later I FINALLY just chose to find a different birthing center.  By this time I was already at 36 weeks and didn’t think they would accept me [All other doctors’ offices turned me away because I was too far along and I was told over and over that I will just have to wait until I’m in labor and I can show up to any hospital to deliver].

After my last birthing experience in a hospital, I was determined this time to find a natural place where I could labor and deliver in a tub.  My dream has been to have a water birth.  So this was really heartbreaking to me, but I was trusting the Lord. 

So here I am now, able to share that God has been so gracious to me in finding a wonderful birthing center that not only made every exception for me, but got me in quickly with midwife visits, testing done, AND they specialize in waterbirth!  Amazing, right?  They even accept my insurance.  After several visits now I can say that my pregnancy is considered completely low risk and all of my tests were negative so I’m just praying that God will continue to keep Gracie and I healthy and that I will get to deliver the way I want, not how a doctor wants. 

FYI: I know that I have little control over things and if complications arise, I’m at peace with interventions for emergencies and definitely never judge other women for the way their labor goes!

While our lives have been focused on taking care of all this, with endless phone calls and many appointments to catch me up, we have managed to feel at home here in Fallbrook, CA. A wonderful couple opened up their back house for us [they have this place set apart especially for other missionaries which is incredible].   We’ve been so blessed to have a place to ourselves without the stress of parenting in someone else’s home and worrying about noise and behavior. 

However, things are up in the air with how long we are able to stay after the baby is born due to the next missionary’s situation, who may or may not be able to make it in the time they thought.  It’s a long story, but this puts us in a place of possibly needing to move out sometime in November…  So if you have a space available or know of someone who has a back house for our family for a few months, we would LOVE to hear from you.  Although we feel peace, there are temptations of feeling anxious about not only having a baby soon, but also having to move into someone else’s space with a toddler and a newborn.  Please pray for us and our situation and let us know if you have any leads! 

With all of the busyness, it has definitely been an emotional roller coaster, especially for this preggers.  Lately, Mark and I have been so torn in our feelings about loving another child besides Zoey lol, which I know is totally normal.  Zoey has blossomed SOOOO much in the last few months and is a blast to be around and such a love bug that it’s been hard to imagine another one joining us.  It sounds funny, but I even feel like I’m betraying Zoey for having another baby in her “old home,” aka my womb!  But we know that once we hold little Gracie, we’ll be filled with so much love and can’t imagine life without her. 

In the meantime we’ve had quality time with our families and have had a few adventures of our own.  Along with all of the fun, we have been meeting with other Global-effect members, practicing our Swahili, connecting with supporters and prepping for our move back and ministry that awaits us. Mark has been so wonderful, putting a lot of work hours and communication stuff in late at night so he can be fully present with his girls in the daytime… he amazes me!

Please pray for our transition from a family of 3 to 4 and that we find a place to stay and feel welcome for the rest of our time here in California.  Thank you all for your love and support! 

My pregger brain forgot Zoey's bathing suit lol!

Daddy/Daughter time is so precious!

Mark and I have dance parties with Zoey to get our exercise on!

Baby Moon: A Time for Reflection & Renewal

Mark and I got to spend our first night away from Zoey…well actually TWO nights, this past weekend.  While the grandparents got to enjoy some quality time with her, we were able to getaway and spend some much needed quality time with each other.

Sure, we missed her and talked about her A LOT, looking at pictures at night of our adorable little gift from God.  But it was strange how much we realized our lives have changed since having her.  Our brains our constantly aware of what needs to be taken care in every moment: diaper changing, snack time, keeping her from killing herself on that cliff…ya know the usual.  Your brains never have a chance to shut off.  And this is just with ONE.

Soon we will have two and it will be even harder.  So this was much needed time for us as a couple, to remind ourselves of one another, our love that started it all, and to just have some FUN!  Walking the streets of San Diego at night, past 7, seemed crazy.  We almost forgot that life continued outside the home after Zoey’s bedtime.  In Tanzania, there’s really nothing to go do at night so we usually stay in.

Beyond our time of refreshment with one another, though, I was able to have some quality time with Lord that I haven’t had in a while.  I had one of those Aha! Moments where I didn’t realize how much I have missed time with Him until I was there alone, with no distractions.  It felt SOOOO good.

I spent some time reflecting on this past year and realized that it was harder than I even thought while I was in the midst of it.  Don’t get me wrong, it was a good first year in a new country, new culture, learning a new language.  But it was really tough too.  Mark even mentioned to me that I have been laughing a lot more since we’ve been back.  I won’t go into the details of what made it so hard…that’s for another time.

I also took advantage of some quiet reading time as I had found a book left here in our storage called Spiritual Parenting.  As I was reading it from the perspective of raising our own children, God started to spark new flames in my heart a passion for teaching families in Tanzania the importance of their spiritual influence on their children’s lives and what discipleship can look like.  Children are often left to discover these things on their own in their culture and the teaching is left to others.  But I have a new desire to see Pastors and leaders providing resources to their church/community members and beyond on how to raise their children beyond the day to day tasks, but to raise them to have faith in the Lord. 

The family unit is the beginning of social change because children who are raised in healthy homes have a chance to contribute to the much needed healing in our broken world.  This is something I had never thought about…I always focused on meeting people’s immediate needs for sustainable jobs, employment, physical health, etc, which are all great things.  But the Lord has stirred in me a much needed renewal of passion for his people.  And ALL of this because Mark and I got to have some space for just the two of us without Zoey!

Which reminded me of the one of the most important lessons we must learn as parents: if we don’t take the time to renew and grow spiritually, how are we able to teach our children to do the same?  We are separate beings from our children who need love and care from our heavenly father.  

So all you moms out there that feel guilty for taking time away from your children, thinking it’s a luxury that’s just not possible…MAKE IT HAPPEN and stop feeling guilt!  We need it, our children need it, our families need it, and the Lord needs it!

Here’s to our soon-to-be family of FOUR!  May the Lord keep us close to His heart and provide many opportunities for us to abide in His word as we hope and pray to pass along a passion for His name to the many generations to come.