It smells like blueberries!!!

"It smells like blueberries!" I claimed as I came into the living room. My husband and mom looked at me like I was crazy.  And then I gasped for air, dropped my pants and shouted "I think my water broke.  Come and check!"

...and that is how my journey through labor began.

My mom, in town from Kansas to help with labor and the baby, had just watched "What to Expect When You're Expecting" with me, as I bounced on my exercise ball to help naturally induce labor.  It was a Friday night, and I was 5 days past my due date.  

Now whether my water broke or it was "bloody show," I wasn't sure.  But unlike Hollywood likes to portray it, we did not rush in a panic out the door to the hospital.  In fact, that night my contractions began, starting the SLOW process of my labor at home.  After tracking the timing of my contractions on the "contractions" app from my iPad, I walked with my mom the next day…and with each contraction, stopped and did a hula hoop dance, using my hips to move the baby down, while making a low-tone moan to help with the pain (thanks Ryan Helbling for the suggestion because it truly helped)!  

All of this was done at the mall too.  And no, I was not embarrassed one bit!  I was in the zone, focused.

The worse my contractions got, the more support I got from my wonderful hubby and mom.  They dimmed the lights, lit candles, played "Charlie Brown Christmas" and slow danced with me through the contractions.  I really enjoyed being at home, feeling comfortable to walk around with no clothes and do what I felt I needed to do.

The only problem was, unlike most people told me, I wasn't sure when I should head to the hospital.  My contractions were like a roller coaster: for a few hours they would intensify, growing closer together and lasting longer (which is a sign to head out) and then they would slow down and spread out.  So we called many people for advice (thanks to my sister-in-law, aunt, and friend who is a midwife).  But on Sunday afternoon, we finally decided to go.  

Leaving for the hospital!

I was convinced that I was pretty far along, but when we got to the hospital they gave me disappointing information upon examination: I was dilated only to 1, but was effaced at 80%.  Tears started to come as they told me my water had broken, so they couldn't send me home and the midwife encouraged me to be induced right away.  WHAT?  This was NOT on my birth plan.  However, the midwife at Kaiser was changing shifts, and a wonderful woman replaced her who wanted to leave me alone to try it all naturally.  So I was able to walk around freely, take a shower, and labor as I pleased.  It was wonderful.  I even cracked a few jokes and laughed many times in between contractions!  I had the lights dimmed and more Charlie Brown Christmas playing all night long. My mom, sister-in-law and husband all rotated to help me out, rubbing my back and be my voice to the nurses and midwife.  

The hospital pads are HUGE and made me laugh!

All was great until they needed things to progress, giving me pitocin in small increments, which intensified my contractions to the point of exhaustion.  Then they gave me a sedative in hopes that I could sleep a little, which worked, but I could still feel the pain of the contractions.  Not long after this, I was up and about again, but the contractions were so often and intense that I was bleeding and peeing on the floor as I walked around.  With each contraction, I wanted to push so badly, but the midwife kept saying that I wasn't ready because I was too calm.  So I fought hard, with little success, at trying not to push, but my body kept telling me to do so.  They made me wait an hour, and then did an examination to see how far I was dilated.  The midwife was shocked to find me at a 9, and then as I accidentally pushed during a contraction, increased to a 9 1/2.  
It was Go Time!!!  She quickly grabbed her tools, told Mark and my mom to hold my legs, and then guided me in my pushing techniques.  In my birth plan, I requested a squatting bar, but the midwife said she didn't feel comfortable because she hadn't taken the time to show me how to use it.  Trust me, by this point, I just wanted to meet my baby girl!!  

I was FULL of adrenaline, ready to finally have Zoey in my arms.  I forgot about all the pain and pushed with all my might.  About 13 minutes had gone by, and the midwife broke the news that she HAD to give me an episiotomy, without giving me any explanation.  Once again, I didn't care.  Just wanted my baby girl.  Surprisingly, I hardly felt anything.  Another minute of pushing, and she was out and placed on my chest.  THE BEST MOMENT OF MY LIFE!  Truly, the most adrenaline I have ever felt, and instant love for my girl.  Another 10 minutes later, she was latched right on as I began to breastfeed her.

Truly an amazing experience.  The pain I experienced after that, as my body healed, was nothing to me.  My focus was completely on Zoey…and I have enjoyed every moment of sacrificing sleep and independence for her sake.  

So, this mama who once said she would never have kids, has a beautiful baby girl now and is already looking forward to adding more to the family…after a few years of course!  May God bless and use our family to make an impact on this broken, hurting world!