Want to Know a Secret?

Yes, there are days that I wish I looked as glamorous as this!

People who have gotten to know me over the last 10 years, since my freshman year of college (can't believe I'm THAT old lol) have never seen me with my nails done, fancy make-up, tons of shoes, etc. Basically, they often think that I don't prefer to pamper myself.

But here's a little secret I'm going to let you in on:  I did not grow up this way.  In fact, during my middle school and high school days I frequented beauty shops, getting my nails and toes done twice a month, eye brows waxed, hair highlighted, while reading fashion magazines, etc.  I had my dad buy me all expensive name brand clothes like Roxy, Billabong, Hollister (yes I was a product of the 90's).  The list goes on, but I'm sure you get the picture.

I want to debunk the idea that many people have about me:

Simplicity is NOT easy or natural for me.  My childhood proves this.  But I have been slowly transformed over the years by Jesus who has fixed my eyes and heart on more important things, readjusted my priorities, and given me the grace to let go of many luxuries that I have learned to love.

Yes, I still like expensive perfumes and the occasional pedicure and I really wish I could get my hair done somewhere other than Paul Mitchell School (where it takes over 2 hours just to stinkin' cut my hair)... but the little sacrifices I am learning to make in order to invest in to other peoples lives is far more valuable than any self desire (this goes beyond just financial sacrifices, but where I spend my time as well).

And this transformation did not begin when I decided to move overseas, but rather when I started to grow deeper in my relationship with Jesus.

So is the point of my little spiel to be self-righteous and tell everyone else to abandon their ways of living?  Certainly not, because I serve a God who does not demand legalism.  In fact, we can NEVER be perfect enough, which is why Jesus came to be a perfect sacrifice for imperfect people.  But I do think that following Jesus requires us to be sacrificial in our lives, as we are all transformed in a loving relationship to desire more of Him and less of ourselves and the things of this world.  This looks totally different for every person and it is a long process.

So lets encourage one another as we put Jesus and others above ourselves, while extending grace as we are all in different places of this journey to Christ-likeness.

"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is- His good, pleasing and perfect will."

~Romans 12:2 

Embracing the Here and the Not Yet

Moving to another country has it's own challenges.

And then add on being a new mom and you have a whole whirlwind of emotions, tasks, and relationships to manage...it's a beautiful mess!

But what I am finding to be my biggest challenge these days is finding the balance between living in the Here and the Not Yet.  I so want to be present with my family and friends, embrace every little up and down I have with Zoey, and yet I have so much to do to prepare for our future move.

Here's just a glimpse of things to do:
-raise the funds for us to move
-find international health coverage
-get Zoey's passport
-buy tickets
-research and buy developmentally appropriate toys, games, puzzles and books for Zoey from 9 months to 2 years
-figure out what is coming and what is staying behind
-and the list goes on and on...(I hope I'm not complaining, just sharing the challenges of moving to overseas)

I didn't fully realize this was such an issue until I spoke with my friend Melissa who has just moved to join our organization in Tanzania with her husband and baby girl Promise.

And I'm sure that we all have to juggle this concept, it just looks different for everyone.  I am just feeling as if it is impossible to find the balance.

I feel this is like my relationship with Christ.  He wants me to embrace Him here and now, to draw close to Him and enjoy His presence.  But at the same time, He calls us to look forward to His return, plan for what is ahead as we prepare for Eternity.

So I'm sure I'm making a bunch of mistakes a long the way, forgetting to get back with friends, emails, and not always on top of my packing list...but I can someday look back and say at least I was more present with my daughter!  These stages are so short and yet so crucial for development, so I will plunge forward and pray that the Holy Spirit will guide me to do what He know is best in each moment I have.