She said WHAT?

I was headed to the 3rd floor of Kaiser for my weekly doctor visit, when another woman stepped into the elevator with me.  Glancing at my belly, as everyone does these days, she began asking about how far along I was.  After I answered her, she asked me if I was excited.  Odd question to ask, I thought to myself, because if I wasn't happy about my situation, would I really express that to a total stranger? So I explained that I was very excited, but apologized for my lack of enthusiasm, which was due to my migraine.  The conversation ended, as she exited the elevator and commented "I had very easy pregnancies.  Bye."

WHAT?  That's it?  No empathy whatsoever?  It was comical to me that she could be so blatantly rude, but at the same time I had had it with the many weird comments I received lately, which gave me a sense of bitterness.  "How dare she say that," I repeated in my head.

This feeling lasted a few days, until God reminded me of His grace towards me.  And I realized in that moment, that I have probably said many an awkward comments in the past, without even realizing it. A flood of emotions came as I experienced shame, confessing my imperfections to my loving Jesus, and then joy and peace settled as I soaked in His grace that He freely gives.

May we always remember our inequities so that we may extend Christ's grace to others.

"Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you" (Colossians 3:13, NIV).

Hiccups and Discipleship: Learning to Abide in God's Womb

I recently experienced my baby's first set of hiccups (or at least felt them for the first time).  To my astonishment, I became a little concerned; not that my baby would be hurt or wounded by this.  But I realized that everything I do is effecting this little one in my womb.  Of course this is a "duh" moment...I've always known that what I eat and drink will effect her.  Yet it didn't really bother me until this very moment.

It scared me that she is totally dependent on me and has no control over annoyances, like hiccups, or sugar highs!!!

In "Creating With God," the book I am reading currently, the author compares the nourishment that breastfeeding gives to our babies and compares it to that of medieval art that depicts humans breastfeeding from Jesus to receive heavenly nourishment.  While this can be a disturbing thought to some people, imagining Jesus breastfeeding, it got me thinking about abiding in God. 

I have been craving God's presence in my life lately, and worrying about how I will find the time to spend with Him, have Him disciple me in His ways, and receive spiritual nourishment once my life turns upside down and becomes more hectic when the baby comes.  And then, rather than breastfeeding, I pictured myself like a baby in God's womb, receiving nourishment from Him and releasing all control as an independent person.  It was BEAUTIFUL...not physically of course!

But to imagine being so close to the creator of the universe, our creator, and being provided everything I need.  

I pray that Mark and I will learn to rest in His womb as we become more and more dependent on His provision over our lives with this move to Tanzania!

John 15:4a: "Remain in me, as I also remain in you."