I will NEVER have kids!

Since May 19th, 2007, the day of our wedding, Mark and I had decided that we didn't want to have kids.  Why, you ask?  I can't really explain it.  We LOVE children and wanted to always look after them in some sort of capacity, but never had this desire to have our own.

...until August of 2012.  We were in Tanzania, Africa at the time, being greeted in Swahili by everyone we crossed paths with.  And what was the first thing they would ask?  "How many children do you have?"  Of course, right?  LOL

Children are considered a blessing from God in their culture.  So much so, that a woman receives the name of her eldest child (Mama so-and-so).  

So this got us thinking about our future, and waves of questions filled our heads...what if we wait too long and we become too old, or what if we can't have children?  We knew we would be great parents, whether we felt a strong passion for it or not.  

Thus began our journey to parenthood...and here I am, 9 months pregnant, waiting to meet our blessed baby Zoey.  It has been such a long, slow process for me to mentally prepare for the moments that lye ahead of me, and it definitely hasn't been easy, nor spontaneously.  I had to change my psyche, by talking about babies, in order for the desire and love to come...and I am experiencing it like I never would have believed.

Reflecting on these last 9 months, I find myself full of thanksgiving (which is right around the corner, ironically) for each and every moment...the joyful, and the sorrowful, the beauty and the suffering.  I have learn to experience what it truly means to depend on God's strength each day.  

My biggest battle through pregnancy has been enduring my migraines: weekly and far worse than before, on top of 24/7 nausea from "morning sickness."  However, I have had such a healthy pregnancy otherwise and am able to see God's grace through it all, as I never had to take a single sick day throughout the pregnancy.  What a miracle!

I have gained a mother's heart, which I never imagined, and find myself weeping over other's pain and sufferings.  I have also faced the fear of suffering through pregnancy and giving labor, and now am not only ready for her arrival, but am looking forward to experiencing a natural birth.  This is a huge step for me, but I have seen God's strength in my life over and over again, and believe that He will get me through this process to bring life (Zoey in Greek) to this world.  

I'm heading to the final stages of this "Rite of Passage" called motherhood and am completely humbled and in awe of what is yet to come.  Lord, be my strength and extend your grace on our family in this season!  

"Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character

; and character, hope."

Romans 5:3-4

She said WHAT?

I was headed to the 3rd floor of Kaiser for my weekly doctor visit, when another woman stepped into the elevator with me.  Glancing at my belly, as everyone does these days, she began asking about how far along I was.  After I answered her, she asked me if I was excited.  Odd question to ask, I thought to myself, because if I wasn't happy about my situation, would I really express that to a total stranger? So I explained that I was very excited, but apologized for my lack of enthusiasm, which was due to my migraine.  The conversation ended, as she exited the elevator and commented "I had very easy pregnancies.  Bye."

WHAT?  That's it?  No empathy whatsoever?  It was comical to me that she could be so blatantly rude, but at the same time I had had it with the many weird comments I received lately, which gave me a sense of bitterness.  "How dare she say that," I repeated in my head.

This feeling lasted a few days, until God reminded me of His grace towards me.  And I realized in that moment, that I have probably said many an awkward comments in the past, without even realizing it. A flood of emotions came as I experienced shame, confessing my imperfections to my loving Jesus, and then joy and peace settled as I soaked in His grace that He freely gives.

May we always remember our inequities so that we may extend Christ's grace to others.

"Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you" (Colossians 3:13, NIV).

Hiccups and Discipleship: Learning to Abide in God's Womb

I recently experienced my baby's first set of hiccups (or at least felt them for the first time).  To my astonishment, I became a little concerned; not that my baby would be hurt or wounded by this.  But I realized that everything I do is effecting this little one in my womb.  Of course this is a "duh" moment...I've always known that what I eat and drink will effect her.  Yet it didn't really bother me until this very moment.

It scared me that she is totally dependent on me and has no control over annoyances, like hiccups, or sugar highs!!!

In "Creating With God," the book I am reading currently, the author compares the nourishment that breastfeeding gives to our babies and compares it to that of medieval art that depicts humans breastfeeding from Jesus to receive heavenly nourishment.  While this can be a disturbing thought to some people, imagining Jesus breastfeeding, it got me thinking about abiding in God. 

I have been craving God's presence in my life lately, and worrying about how I will find the time to spend with Him, have Him disciple me in His ways, and receive spiritual nourishment once my life turns upside down and becomes more hectic when the baby comes.  And then, rather than breastfeeding, I pictured myself like a baby in God's womb, receiving nourishment from Him and releasing all control as an independent person.  It was BEAUTIFUL...not physically of course!

But to imagine being so close to the creator of the universe, our creator, and being provided everything I need.  

I pray that Mark and I will learn to rest in His womb as we become more and more dependent on His provision over our lives with this move to Tanzania!

John 15:4a: "Remain in me, as I also remain in you."

DIY Breast Feeding Cover: Dria

I've been busy doing research on alternatives to the "Hooter Hiders" for breastfeeding covers because it is uncomfortable for me to have things around my neck.  So I came across the Dria, which is basically a poncho that can be used for both breastfeeding and a carseat cover to block the baby from the sun. 

But...they are $80, which is way too high for my budget.

So I made my own...it was super simple, with no sewing involved, and only cost me $15!!!  

I used the same fabric that I made the fitted sheet for my bassinet, to save money on shipping for fabric...and took the following steps:

I bought Jersey fabric, so that it would be stretchy and breathable for the baby!

I cut off the edges with the label, and just measured by looks for my upper body length.

I took a shirt that had a wide neck to be a model of how to cut the neck for the Dria.

And that's it...no sewing, just a few simple cuts.  I wanted it to fit off the shoulders, just because!

You can easily stretch this over a carseat and tie each open end.

Viola!  It's very comfortable, not too heavy, and is wide enough that the baby will not be popping out too easily while breastfeeding.  Let's hope it works as well as I'm hoping!

Pain for a Purpose

I have an appreciation for people who are real, honest, and sometimes down and dirty with details (by this I mean the messiness of life). So when I was looking for a book to read during my pregnancy, I wanted something raw; stories not often told by people. Because frankly, most people talk about how much they LOVED pregnancy, but I wasn't sure I would feel that way.

Fortunately, I came across the perfect book, "Creating with God: The Holy Confusing Blessedness of Pregnancy" by Sarah Jobe. It is a wonderful blend of the pregnancy horrors, funny moments, and beauty that the author discovered about pregnancy, while describing how God uses women to join Him in Creation. 

I am about half way, but just had to share my favorite chapter so far, called "Suffering and New Life," as I can definitely relate. The author begins with a few gruesome stories of painful experiences during her pregnancy, as well as a few of her friends' stories, some that are funny looking back on...some of which I've experienced myself.  Others, are beyond painful just thinking about, such as a mentor of hers who was paralyzed during her last trimester. 

Because of these stories, Jobe searched references in the Bible to find the word labor and found that "…when the Bible imagines labor, the Bible imagines panting, pain, and death close behind." Several prophets use the pain of pregnancy as a metaphor to describing times of suffering for the people of Israel.  Even in our society, where pain during labor can be reduced, we all know that part of pregnancy is learning to suffer.

But the chapter gets better as the author compares a woman's suffering in giving life to, that of Jesus' sacrifice to bring us eternal life. Now I know…it seems a bit of a stretch and she is by no means placing them both on the same playing field, but it is comforting to think of the pain I have experienced throughout this pregnancy, and will continue to as I head towards the labor table, as just a small piece of sacrifice, similar to Christ's. I'd like to think that through this, I am baring the image of God even more so than usual :) Praise God for this difficult season as I am strengthened and stretched to become more like God!

Evernote: Keeping My Scattered Mind Organized!

Many of you who know me can totally understand that I have a scattered mind and have a hard time remembering things...and that's why Evernote is great for me.  It allows me to compartmentalize my life in a simple, easily-accessible way!

Here are reasons to use Evernote:

• It's one location for storage of multiple types of information: personal notes, weblinks, etc.
• Private collaboration tool
• Accessible on any device, whether online or offline (PC, Android, Apple...etc)
• Stored in a cloud…no need to worry about losing information if your device crashes
• Presentation Capabilities
• Can create Audio Notes
• Can easily make notes on websites
• It's Free!!

How to get started:

1. Download the app on all devices and web clipper to laptops/desktops by clicking here!

     2.     Create an account

     3.     Start notebooks and notes

     4.      Use the Web Clipper to capture websites, with options of marking up the page, choosing just the text, part or the whole web page.  To do so, visit a website and click on the web clipper                     and a panel on the right will appear with your options.  Play around and have fun with it!

     5.      Check out this short video tutorial I created to give you a demonstration of how I organize my notebooks and use the web clipper.  If you have any questions about this tool, please post a                   comment below and I'll try to answer it the best that I can!

Awkward Confessions of a Pregnant Lady

Mommy Graphics

Life Lesson #1: Don't be so bullheaded and buy yourself a friggin bra that fits...it's not worth the agony to save money by using rubber bands to expand the width.

How did I come to learn this lesson, you might ask?  Here's my story:

So I was at work the other day, visiting one of the elementary schools to help teachers with technology questions, just doin my job...when suddenly an awkward discomfort began throughout my back and my chest.  I thought to myself, I AM in my third trimester now...maybe this is just what everyone complains about.  So I head to the bathroom for the umpteenth time that morning, head into a stall, and whimsically take my bra off...
   
AWWWW...instant relief!

Now imagine, I'm in the bathroom, without my purse or anything to hide my bra in, as to head back across campus...but the pain relief is too wonderful to bother with this piddly dilemma.

I was wearing a dress with a busy pattern, which allowed for enough distraction for people to hopefully not notice my lack of bra, so I decide to stuff my bra in my underwear.  As I wash my hands, I think to myself "I sure hope no one stops me or asks me a question on my way back to my desk..." such high hopes!  Fortunately, I jetted my way back, dodging a few potential threats (aka teachers in need).  I slyly ducked myself out of view, reached under my dress, pulled the bra out of my undies and tucked it deep down into my purse.  Sheer Success!!!

I enjoyed the rest of my day braless: talk about being professional!  And you know what?  I could care less!

Just a typical day in Brittany Sherman's shoes...and I'm not exaggerating!  

Nesting Time: Making a Cushion Cover for Baby Basket

Throughout my 2nd trimester, I have been in a crafty mood!  I love to try and make things on a tight budget...which doesn't always bring the highest quality, but usually whatever I make does the trick.

Below, you will see the steps I took to make a cushion cover for my Moses basket (my parents held on to my basket from my baby days)!  

I bought Jersey Cotton fabric, which is stretchy material.  I used the original cushion as a guide for the shape, and cut roughly 6 inches around all the edges.

I pinned the sheet where I wanted the seam, but had to cut slits around the curves to keep the material from overlapping.  When in doubt, check out this Youtube video, like I did :)

With my old 1970's sewing machine, I made the seam.

I left about an inch of the seam undone so that I could pull the elastic through the hem.  I just made a rough estimate on the length of the elastic and attached one end to a safety pin to help pull it through.

To add some extra padding, I found some iPad shipping foam at work in the junk room.

I placed the four pads together and duck taped it to secure it.

I had to add 2 small pieces, one at each end, to complete it and cut it to round out the edges, like the original cushion.

I completed the sheet by placing the original cushion on top and the homemade one on the bottom, and pulled the cover over it.

Done!!!

Can't wait to see our little Zoey in this soon!

Welcome to my journey!

I have never been much of a writer...I always saw it as more work than anything. Yet, I have been discovering the true beauty of sharing life in community, preferably face-to-face, but as I transition to another move overseas, I find that online community is essential! So welcome to my journey as I share ideas, thoughts, joyful, goofy and sad moments. 

I desire for Christ to shine through my life as I learn to become more like Him, yet I want to be real and honest with people. Christ never said we would reach perfection in life as soon as we choose to follow His lead, and the truth is I struggle with many imperfections in life...so why not try out life together with others who are the same, who want to share wisdom and failures? 

It is discouraging to me to see social media as a way for many to put on a facade and hide behind the curtain. Rather, let's not be ashamed to be who God created us to be and to share that with others around us. Please join me in this discovery of what it means to be transparent while learning to become like Christ.

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2 Corinthians 3:18

"And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit."