Tales of a Pregnant Woman Living Abroad: Part 1

Here I am, eating cold mac and cheese leftovers and I just can’t help but think about how unmotivated I’ve been lately…to do really ANYTHING, to be quite honest.  Hence, the lack of posts recently.  

This pregnancy had a rough start.  To start off, the day I found out we were going to have another baby was Valentines Day, which was so awesome…but I had 3 boils under my armpit that were causing tons of pain for the prior week and I couldn’t get any chores done around the house without getting a migraine…my shoulder had been propped up from the pain of my boils because I couldn’t shut my arm, which was the source of my migraines…or so I thought.

Here's a sneak peak of one of our Time Lapse photos!

Then ALL DAY sickness kicked in not but 2 days after I found out and I had several migraines…needless to say I threw up a ton.  So, my survival mode kicked in as I just laid on the couch while Zoey would play in the living room.  Most ideals went out the window as I started making peanut butter and honey sandwiches for Zoey, watching movies with her daily while I lived off of coke and chips. 

The heat has been inescapable and electricity has been very poor, so I’m lucky to have a working fan at night when it's working, which I am completely dependent on for a good night’s sleep.  And to top it off, none of the foods I have been craving are available here…NONE!  Yes, I could make some, but with my nausea, that ain't happening.

Oh yeah, cleaning mushy, poopy diapers while trying not to throw up is a memory I hope to forget someday lol!

But….I’m beginning to see a beam of light at the end of this tunnel. And it feels wonderful to have some energy and a little of an appetite. Sure my migraines are worse and more frequent, but at least I can have some good days in between.

And I do have to add that while I thought having a 1 year-old while pregnant would be more of a challenge than anything, I have found Zoey to be my joy MOST days. She has such a fun, vibrant personality, with of course the common tantrum here and there, but I've loved being able to put more focus on her and less on me.  I just hate having her see me throw up...not my proudest moments.

Reflecting back, I’m always disappointed with my attitude in the midst of the pain.  I don’t know why I always feel grumpy and sorry for myself when I have so much to be thankful for.  So here’s to a new trimester…may the Lord strengthen me and help me to choose Joy in the everyday little things, while reminding me of all of the good things He is doing!

BRING IT ON!!!

P.S. I want to mention that I am so very aware of the hardships that Tanzanian women must face here when pregnant and my heart aches for them.  I don't think I have it harder, but felt some would like to hear the perspective of a pregnant expat in Tanzania.  

Pain for a Purpose

I have an appreciation for people who are real, honest, and sometimes down and dirty with details (by this I mean the messiness of life). So when I was looking for a book to read during my pregnancy, I wanted something raw; stories not often told by people. Because frankly, most people talk about how much they LOVED pregnancy, but I wasn't sure I would feel that way.

Fortunately, I came across the perfect book, "Creating with God: The Holy Confusing Blessedness of Pregnancy" by Sarah Jobe. It is a wonderful blend of the pregnancy horrors, funny moments, and beauty that the author discovered about pregnancy, while describing how God uses women to join Him in Creation. 

I am about half way, but just had to share my favorite chapter so far, called "Suffering and New Life," as I can definitely relate. The author begins with a few gruesome stories of painful experiences during her pregnancy, as well as a few of her friends' stories, some that are funny looking back on...some of which I've experienced myself.  Others, are beyond painful just thinking about, such as a mentor of hers who was paralyzed during her last trimester. 

Because of these stories, Jobe searched references in the Bible to find the word labor and found that "…when the Bible imagines labor, the Bible imagines panting, pain, and death close behind." Several prophets use the pain of pregnancy as a metaphor to describing times of suffering for the people of Israel.  Even in our society, where pain during labor can be reduced, we all know that part of pregnancy is learning to suffer.

But the chapter gets better as the author compares a woman's suffering in giving life to, that of Jesus' sacrifice to bring us eternal life. Now I know…it seems a bit of a stretch and she is by no means placing them both on the same playing field, but it is comforting to think of the pain I have experienced throughout this pregnancy, and will continue to as I head towards the labor table, as just a small piece of sacrifice, similar to Christ's. I'd like to think that through this, I am baring the image of God even more so than usual :) Praise God for this difficult season as I am strengthened and stretched to become more like God!